Thanks to the lovely Megan over at An Australian Wintour, yesterday Alex and I eschewed the daily grind and headed instead to the Adelaide leg of the Big Day Out. The day was an absolute dream: brunch at Brown Dog Cafe on Goodwood Road was serene (their Warm Falafel Salad could start a war, it’s that bloody good), the weather was perfect and the tunes were bangin’ (honorable mentions go to the Hilltop Hoods, Battles, Royksopp and Kasabian). But everyone knows that the best part of a music festival, besides the music of course, is the fashion; or more specifically, outfit judging.
I’m not sure what it’s like in the rest of the world, but I’m sure most Australians would agree that summer festival dressing gets pretty skanky, according to whatever is being sold in Globalize and Cotton On that second. Yesterday’s (Big Day) outing saw an endless parade of cropped singlets, bustiers, belly piercings and frilly high-waisted ass shorts. Now, I’m no Anna Wintour but I like to think I’ve learnt a thing or two over the years about how to dress well. So: in the hopes of never having to see another lot of ass-cleavage again, here are a few tips for the repentant festival fashion victim. Read, absorb, then go forth into the sun, ass cheeks safely tucked away…
Belly button piercings should have died out with Britney Spears’ career
Yes, she looked fab, but that definitely does not mean you will. Anyway, she had a snake. Not just any snake, but an albino python. Who even knew they existed?! The point is, your belly button stud is a visual cue for the producers of ’16 & Pregnant’ to keep tabs on your movements. Swap it for the more bohemian nose stud if you must.
NO-ONE looks good in frilly ass-shorts
You may as well don a pair of these; the class factor is about equal.
… but if you insist on wearing a high-cut number, at least take a style tip from these ladies
Hanneli balances the trash-factor of leather ass shorts, matching knee-highs and crop top with wholesome layers of tights and chambray. The eclectic New York setting definitely helps.
Olivia from lust for life champions the grunge revival with a simple black tee, khaki combat boots and JBF hair and make-up.
Even something as simple as a lightweight knit and a pair of cute moccasins is infinitely better to pair with your shorts than a lace-up bustier, as Cali-girl Aimee Song proves here.
Other tips: your sequinned bra is not a substitute for an actual top, so please at least befriend a chiffon blouse; maxi skirts are always a winner; and the band tee + skinny legs combo will never let you down.